New

A few weeks ago at church, we were given an envelope with a blank piece of paper in it. On that paper we are to write down all of the things that we want God to make new in our lives. Next week we are going to turn in the envelopes and pray for those things listed for an entire year. I started writing mine 3 days ago. In 5 minutes i had the paper half full.
I'm not sure if having so many things to write down is a good thing or a bad thing. All i know is that right after i finished writing, God started working. He always does that. He doesn't wait for our lists to be complete.
He let me turn my life upside down; another thing he always does. I guess it's just something that i need to happen before i finally give in. You see, I'm a control freak. There are things i know i should start doing, or stop doing, but i wait until he makes me. You'd think i would have learned by now. Maybe i have. Maybe I'm trying. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough.
I've always believed in God.
I've only been a Christian for a little over a year.
To some that might be confusing.
A year ago, my life was turned upside down; again, something i let happen. Total chaos consumed me, everywhere i went, everything i did. Many people tried to help me, give me advise. Over top all of their voices there was one i heard loud and clear. "You need me." I did, more than anything, and still do. I'd heard that voice before. That time i didn't ignore it.
Change starts in the heart. Even though i haven't been completely changed yet, i have been made new.
I see things differently. I've become softer. I notice answered prayers, the most subtle ones. I don't just notice the sunsets or the way the clouds look, i get lost in them.
I know that soon then changes will start to show more on the outside. If it takes another year, I'll be OK with that...he knows what he's doing. I just hope i don't fight him as much as i've been known to do...